Al Qaeda Calls Off Attack On Nation's Capitol To Spare Life Of 'Twilight' Author

ONN's Terrorism Expert Omar Al-Farouq explains how Al Qaeda's love for the beloved teen vampire series prevented the death of thousands. All hail the Onion News Network!

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The Primetime TV Recap Show We like to Watch

We like TV. You like TV. Primetime TV is packed with all our favorites - The Office, 30 Rock, Vampire Diaries, Nip/Tuck and a few more. But our schedule is packed and our DVR is overflowing with such goodness that we don't always get to watch everything we want. So in comes the web favorite TV In a Flash - the best primetime TV recap show yee-ha!

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